*

I felt nervous and longed to change my mind. A clock ticked and tocked on the mantelpiece. The small office smelled of magnolia paint and aftershave. I felt nervous because the first year of my teaching career had gone well, and this dramatic change in direction was not a sensible career decision. That small moment in that everyday setting was the beginning of a radical new trajectory for me.

'I am sorry, but I have decided to leave.'

'Oh dear. Where are you going?'

'The South Pole.'

'St. Paul's? Lovely school.' 

I never did make it to the South Pole. But it has been a fascinating journey to where I've ended up nonetheless. We never know where we will end up, nor even if the destination we aspire to is the best one. 

All we can do is choose what seems to be the most fulfilling turn in the road, and see where it leads. 

I walk across the dewy grass to my shed carrying a cup of tea: my morning commute. I'm going to work hard on the writing that I love for a few hours before picking up my kids from school and perhaps going to climb a tree together. 

*

Ahead of me, the sky was huge and empty. A sea sky. The sun was setting. I passed beneath a final row of palm trees and out onto the beach. I took off my pack and walked slowly down the warm sand into the sea. Ending a journey at an ocean was very satisfying. It felt definite. I could go no further. The beach stretched away in both directions, white, straight and washed clean to the high tide line. The heat had ebbed from the sun, but it still shone golden on the water. I stared out to sea, beyond the wooden fishing pirogues and out to the horizon. And I wondered what might lie on the other side.

*

I feel excited rather than nervous as I stir my tea. The end of an adventure is always filled with relief. I'm in McDonald's, the only place in town still open this late. Hard plastic seats, piped pop music, weak tea, the smell of chips. A very ordinary setting for a small moment that might lead in an intriguing new direction, though I have no idea what. It felt right to return to Maccy D's where this book began to work through my final thoughts. I've already given it all away online for free, and now I am about to click 'go' and publish this book. I don't know how it will be received. But it is time to find out.

– The End –